Rihanna Experiencing a Brown Out

Mere weeks after having her face disfigured by super-star rapper Chris Brown, reports from Hollywood say that Rihanna needs a time-out. A friend close to the 21 year old songstress said, “The swelling is just starting to go down and this whole experience has made Rihanna really appreciate being able to see out of her right eye again.” Rihanna’s family had similar feelings on the issue. Her mother Monica Fenty said that she was looking forward to spending some time with her daughter doing “normal things” like walking without a cane or eating solid food together.

For his part, 19 year old rapper Chris Brown has been relatively silent on the issue of whether or not he pounded the face, neck, and upper torso of his star-studded girlfriend on February 8^th, 2009. A statement issued by his publicist appears to deny responsibility for the alleged attack: “Chris Brown is a role model for millions of Americans who appreciate his talents as an artist. Chris is a naturally non-violent person who just happens to sing about the objectification of women and the glorification of street violence." Although Mr. Brown has repeatedly denied the assault, some people are beginning to doubt his claims. Weeks after the incident people are beginning to doubt that Rihanna's wounds were self-inflicted, due to anemia, or the result of a peanut butter allergy. Although plausible, these scenarios are slightly too coincidental when considering that the two singers were arguing alone in back of a car while Brown was allegedly punching Rihanna in the face.

A body guard for Mr. Brown offered an alternate suggestion as to how Rihanna's face turned into a bruised melon. "It is also well known among his friends and family that Chris has really big hands. Sometimes when those hands get going, they inadvertently bump into things like lamp shades, vases, and unfortunately cheekbones.” This writer is still not convinced.

Given yesterday's break-up, neither was Rihanna. It seems that either the subsiding of her brain swelling or Oprah Winfrey's hour-long sit-down with the star has had some impact. Jay-Z, her producer, may also have had something to do with it. Reports out of Los Angeles have suggested that the music mogul could not even look at Rihanna when she did not immediately leave Brown. "Jay-Z was really just disgusted with her both professionally and physically," said personal assistance Gee-Queue LaStrange. "

For now, it seems like Rihanna is making the right choice. She has money, she has fame, and unless her latest CAT scan comes back positive for latent post-blunt trauma aneurisms she has her health. Brown who faces arraignment on assault charges later this month is remarkably receiving wide-spread support from his equally ignorant and pro-gang war fan base who in a recent poll (http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/03/13/many_boston_teens_surveyed_say_rihanna_is_at_fault_for_assault/ ) said that Rihanna actually probably deserved it. If convicted Brown faces 3-5 years in jail, 40% higher record sales, and the prospect of reuniting with over two dozen of his former teen-rappers-turned-felons colleagues. The case should rap up by the end of the month.