Oh David Carradine (sigh). What happened to you? Once a world famous Shaolin monk wondering the world giving sage advice through his elegantly cryptic words and his lethal roundhouse kicks. Now his voice is silenced forever; the sad result of genital suffocation. The man who gave us quotes like, “If you cannot be a poet, be the poem" probably ended his life with less flowery language.
What has the world come to when such a kind, gentle, and........eccentric person can be left to die in a Thai hotel closet? I personally am pretty annoyed at David. Why? Because unfortunately, his legend, so to speak, will continue in the media for the next month. We have already had the delightful opportunity to hear from his ex-wife that "he was a sexual deviant." Glad we got the heads up on that one before he was found with his Johnson hogtied. Maybe we will be able to get increasingly insightful reporting in the future. Maybe we will be told that he always liked Thailand or that he was considering taking a role in the upcoming thriller The Secret Bond. Unfortunately for all of us, that one fell through.
What is for certain is that we will have weeks worth of his family saying that he was involved in foul play. The Thai authorities will stick to their story and simply label his a super freak who only got to f-himself in the end. The needle will move back and forth in the entertainment pages of America for weeks. Great. I can only hold my breath and wait for other celebrities will weigh in on why he is not a sexual deviant (think David Duchovney or someone similar). For those of you who like dirt, there will be plenty of it. We will get to find out from Thai police that he had enslaved a village. Former partners will tell about his crayon fetish. Just when you are ready to label him a total sicko, a documentary of fallen celebrities will come out and remind you how awesome he was in Kung Fu. And just like that the legend continues. Damn you David!
