There are dreams, and then there are wet dreams. Donald Trump is having the latter. His brainchild, the Miss America contest, has been in years past, frankly, as irrelevant as a male nipples. This year was different. This year one of the high-glam, low-IQ contestants let loose a bombshell.................she does not approve of homosexuals getting married, no offense. How shocking! Wait, there is more. She considers herself a conservative Christian! Doubly shocking! I can't believe it.
I for one am glad that this year's Miss America runner-up Carrie Prejean brought this to light. I am extra thankful that the world media was there to help spread the word that conservative Christians do not agree with gay marriage. I simply had no idea. It is nice to see every media outlet, including talk shows, daytime TV, magazines, newspapers, editorial columns, etc chipping in and giving us round the clock coverage on this revelation.
As an added bonus, religious groups are using Ms. Prejean as the voice of reason against the growing clamour of social acceptance toward gay people. The anti-gay movement needed this moment. They needed someone who is smart, beautiful, morally grounded, and a perfect role model (no pun intended). After all, Ms. Prejean's message that marriage, according to her upbringing, only applies to men and women really resonates with people. However, a closer look into this matter gives rise to some concerns that our heroine for the anti-gay movement might bare some luster.
Ms.Prejean credits her upbringing and Christian faith for her moral high ground against gay marriage. First, let us examine her upbringing. If we forget the fact that her parents are divorced (oh the sin of it) and that her mother actually said that all men who have mustaches are gay, we may be able to gain some very interesting insights. Ms. Prejean gives off an air of innocense and righteousness, qualities that are expected of Miss California. As essentially a delegate and dplomat of the state of California, she is assumed to be not only law abiding, but also an extension of the state itself. If that is the case, some of her supporters may be irked by her implicit support of some controversial California state laws. Just take a look at the following California laws still on the books that she, as Miss California, inherently supports:
1) Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk - WHAT! She just lost support from children under 10 and parents alike.
2) It is illegal to wash your car in the street - HUH? Teenage boys and street gangs just called, they are out of Prejean camp.
3) It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course - F-THAT! Testosterone laden over-competitive males are off the ticket (some of her biggest supporters)
4) It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent - SNAP! Texas is out too along with men wearing shirts with no sleeves.
5) Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine. BUZZ OFF! Creepy old guys just hung up the gloves.
6) It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. THAT'S RUFF! Fanatical widows with cat and dog menageries won't be joining.
Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. That would pretty much weed out everybody. Well all is not lost. She also has her faith to fall back on. Subsequent interviews with Ms. Prejean has her referring to the Bible and its literal interpretation as support for her anti-gay marriage stance. That is all fine and dandy, however, literally translating the Bible is a slippery slope. She should hope that her Christian brothers and sisters (those who weren't put off from her inherent support of California penal codes) glance over these passages without looking too closely:
"Take and eat; this is my body" (Matthew 26:26) - Support canabalism
"Suffer not a witch to live," (Exodus 22:18, KJV) - Kill witches
"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity" (Deuteronomy 25:12-13, NIV). - Maim prostitutes and hussies
"Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ." (Ephesians 6:5, NIV). - Enslave people
Now, take a look at this picture that was recently released of Ms. Prejean. Should we load up on stones? I don't want to be a stickler here, but that was the way I was raised, and the Bible clearly states that we should be gathering rocks right now, no offense.
